Hey fam. It happens to the best of us. You’re already having a bad day, and then more sh*t falls in your lap. Gets added to the heap. What do you do? To un-spiral?
As a mom, this happens to me… often.
Is that an overstatement? No! Having a threenager is real people. Walking your toddler through a temper tantrum is the literal *best* practice for your own emotional management.
So while my 3 yo, Marin, was tantruming the other day, I made a crucial pivot. To talk myself out of reacting in kind (cuz let’s be real, I’d love to cry & yell right back at her). In my MIND, I changed the conversation I was having with myself.
I started listing true things. Like how half her brain isn’t developmentally online yet. Like how testing limits is exactly what's she supposed to be doing at this age. I listed things I was grateful for: her strong will, her independence, her healthy lungs to be able to tell me *this* loudly how she was feeling :)
In my house we talk about it a lot - you’re either spiraling up or spiraling down.
In other words: you’re either feeling good & building on that feeling with your actions/choices/self talk. Or you’re feeling crummy & building on that feeling.
IDEAS TO HELP YOUR BRAIN
1. What you say to yourself matters During difficult situations, take a second. Pay attention to the words floating around in your brain. Are the gracious & kind? Are they empowering? For most of us, the answer is no. But no worries. Scientists agree: your first thought is what you're conditioned to think. Your second thought is the one you can choose. So choose a more inspirational one. What you think about, you bring about!
2. Working on our awareness is KEY Growing your awareness of *true* feelings is a critical skill. It’s like a muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it will get. So for every time you think, “This is the end of the world,” ask yourself… is it? Or are you just feeling out of control? Do you need to eat something? Did you get enough sleep last night to trust any emotions today? Dig down to the true kernel of what you’re feeling, don’t trust the inflated emotion.
3. “Cancel cancel” Secret Handshake This is literally the best trick. It’s a physical reminder. Next time you feel yourself getting overwhelmed with negativity, make blades with your hands. Double tap them, one on top of the other, in the shape of an X. Say “Cancel” *out loud* with each tap. Will you feel silly? Abso-frickin-lutely. Will it turn your stinkin’ thinkin’ around? Probably! Mostly because you’ll be laughing at yourself
4. Get yo’self an affirmation. Or at the very least, a mantra. Something you say to yourself. Ideally every morning & night. And definitely when you need to pump yourself up. Not feeling enough creative juices to write one, that’s ok friend! Borrow one. Audra did for a full year before her very own hit her like a bolt of lightening one night. Whether it’s original or ‘researched,’ it should get your blood flowing, make you smile, and make you stand up straight like the BOSS that you are!
OUR FAVORITE QUOTES
“Throw out the words if I can, I hope, and maybe. Replace them with I can, I will, I must.” - Mary Kay Ash
“The mind moves in the direction of our currently dominant thoughts.” - Earl Nightingale
“Your life is what you language” - Ind National Sales Director JoAnne Barnes
“What if life wasn’t happening to you but happening for you?” - Tony Robbins
“You are what you say you are, a superstar” - Lupe Fiasco Superstar
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